Meet Eva Martins, a world-renowned success coach and a dear friend who has just published her wonderful book “Stop Believing the B.S.! 7 Steps to Awaken Your Feminine Power”, which became an international bestseller in less than 24h! Eva is a Fortune 500 corporate executive leader and an international speaker.
In her book Eva delivers life-changing messages at the center of her global success, empowering and encouraging women all over the world with her bold words of wisdom to Stop Believing the BS. Eva ignites in her audience the courage to rise up, live authentically, and claim their own feminine power.
Eva is addressing all women in the world who are afraid of judgment, afraid of not being heard and acknowledged, but who want to achieve more, want to break the glass ceiling, want to have an impact in their own world and feel liberated from self-imposed limitations. This book is for all women who want to unlock their true essence and skyrocket their lives and dreams! Get your copy of Eva’s transformational book on Amazon now!
Eva, what are the B.S. stories that you’ve uncovered in your own life?
All my life I’ve rejected my true feminine power until I understood its true nature, and that I was disconnecting with myself, my true self. The more I was pushing my power away, the more I was pushing away money, love, happiness, true relationships, fulfillment, feeling connected with life, being in the driver seat instead of the passenger…
I had to go through a self-discovery journey, lessons, challenges to understand it’s true origins, identity, force, sensitivity…power. To understand the feminine and masculine potential in each other, in ourselves, and how they complement each other, how they can uplift and empower each other instead of annihilating each other.
Being a strong corporate woman, a leader, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend is extremely challenging nowadays. Trying to be perfect in all areas of my life: being a sensitive, receptive and guiding mother, empowering my children to be young and independent kids, and also being a nice, caring wife…I was sacrificing myself almost all the time.
The environment is demanding, and you feel you need to be at your most every day. I might have lost myself along the way ….I had to destroy all of those foundations, expectations, old beliefs such as: not being good enough, not smart enough, being powerless…to be able to rediscover myself, my wishes, my passion, my own soul.
“I was sacrificing myself and my wishes all the time. Most of the time I numbed my emotions, betrayed them to fit in, trying to be the perfect mum, leader, wife, friend…a constant pressure. Luckily the universe sent few challenges along the way to shake my shiny bubble…only shiny from the outside, quite empty inside.” – Eva Martins
Who do you think you had to be as a child to feel loved, appreciated and seen?
As a child we all seek love but unfortunately our parents don’t teach us that love is exponential, so we all start from a place of lack instead of abundance. We believe we need to attract our parents’ attention. We believe we have to compete against siblings to have love.
I’m a second child, 3 years younger than my brother. Given the age difference I always believed I was less smart, less strong, so I did everything I could to attract my parent’s attention by being the good girl, studying a lot to have good marks at school, and behaving almost all the time. It was a tremendous pressure on the day to day bringing a lot of anxiety. Unfortunately, at that time, the strategy wasn’t working as I wasn’t getting the attention and love I was seeking. They had no need to check, motivate, control me as they believed I was a “good girl” without needing their support.
Eva, what was the experience that triggered your inner journey to re-discovering your feminine power?
For many years, since my childhood, I’ve tried to be the perfect child to get love. Later on, I subconsciously kept the same pattern through my professional life, personal life, doing more than what was expected from me instead of focusing on what would make me feel fulfilled.
I was sacrificing myself and my wishes all the time. Most of the time I numbed my emotions, betrayed them to fit in, trying to be the perfect mum, leader, wife, friend…a constant pressure. Luckily the universe sent few challenges along the way to shake my shiny bubble…only shiny from the outside, quite empty inside.
I had a big car accident, lost a baby, had a health threat, divorced…and always feeling deeply alone during those events… I finally understood the universe was sending me strong messages. I had to change. It came to the day that I woke up feeling empty, I had nothing else to give, not knowing anymore which were my dreams and goals. I was on an autopilot, feeling lost inside, disconnected with myself and I understood that I was betraying myself, my soul, my own life.
I will never forget the day I woke up and felt that I had no more feelings. There was no feeling of connection anymore. I was doing more and more every day and it was never enough.
Everything was a struggle. Doing my best at work and feeling exhausted, coming back home to pick up the kids, play with them, giving them a bath, preparing the dinner, reading stories to allow them to fall asleep and feeling more and more alone and sad inside of myself…not being able to express it, not feeling understood, not feeling heard either…and all of this with constant arguments that it was not enough, having to be a beautiful, smiley wife and always ready for him… I was there for everyone… except myself.
I’m a natural giver, a caretaker…but I had to learn to take care of myself too and uncover my true gifts, my own wishes and dreams.
“Everything that happens in our life is a reflection of our inner stories and beliefs. Our life journey is to recognize where we B.S. ourselves so we can learn and grow. Our potential is genuinely and truly limitless if we allow it to be.” – Eva Martins
What does owning a feminine power mean to you?
Owning a feminine power is being authentic with ourselves. It’s all about accepting, leveraging and sharing freely our own natural gifts without any fear or limitation. The feminine energy, which we all have independently of our gender, is all about feeling, sensing, being open, receiving, being naturally empathic, loving, being intuitive, nurturing, caring, and compassionate.
It’s not about our body type, our sexuality, our hair style, or how we dress up. It’s entirely about our inner self, our energy and how we project in life.
Men and women have a feminine energy and the secret is in the balance of this with our masculine energy. A man or a woman rejecting their feminine energy may replace the emptiness, reject emotions, missing softness and intuition by a strong sense of achievement, by a need to protect themselves, shielded from deeper loving emotions, striving for accomplishment.
There is a disconnect between the heart and the mind, letting the mind govern their life. There is a need to be successful to survive. A need to be safe and protected, supported by an unconscious lack of trust preventing them from fully opening. Feminine power and radiance is about creation and intelligence. It is the creative force of life.
The feminine energy is always feeling and sensing everything, processing everything at once, multitasking. The left and right brain are constantly active and ingesting information, which is extremely powerful. In contrast, the masculine energy is focused on one task at the time.
Eva, what new beliefs changed your life?
Many but few of them were foundational. I had to change many beliefs related to the fact that I’m a woman, that I’m allowed to be a woman and be strong, that I’m allowed to be a woman and speak my truth, being powerful instead of weak. That we’re allowed to lead instead of being led, we’re allowed to receive and not only give it all. I’m more than good enough for anything that I want to achieve. I had to let go of the guilt imposed by society on woman…if you are not at home you are not a good mum, if you are too strong as a leader you are too emotional, that you cannot be too feminine to be a leader, you need to fit in in order to keep safe…all B.S. from all the stories we believed in.
Today I’ve fun with it, I constantly observe my thought process, catch myself and reframe it automatically, without waiting for a challenge to come for me to learn. Life is not meant to be a struggle; it is simply a stage to help us grow and learn.
“Feminine energy needs to feel safe and protected. When feeling unsafe, unseen, not understood, the feminine energy numbs itself, putting on a masculine mask. Being action driven, numbing its emotions, being competitive and fighting for survival is the default. Masculine energy needs appreciation. It needs to feel admired and praised. When a masculine energy is feeling criticized, controlled or feeling closed off, it shifts into wearing the feminine mask. The secret is in balancing both within ourselves to unlock real freedom, joy and happiness”- Eva Martins
How can we practice creating an inner balance of feminine and masculine energies in our own lives?
The feminine is about being while the masculine is about doing. The first step is to accept, to be vulnerable, accept that perfection does not exist, accept our own uniqueness, and embrace it.
Secondly is to recognize in us our own feminine and masculine side and how they play out in life and how they can support us. By rejecting one of them you reject one fundamental part of yourself leading to struggle one day or the other. By embracing both you reconnect with your true potential, your divine birth rights.
Over the years, we were all trained, men and women alike, to reject our feminine energy. In misunderstanding its openness, sensitivity, empathy to weakness, we thought we had to reject our emotions to be strong. But actually, it takes courage to be truly open. It takes strength to be in the truth and speaking the truth.
Feminine energy needs to feel safe and protected. When feeling unsafe, unseen, not understood, the feminine energy numbs itself, putting on a masculine mask. Being action driven, numbing its emotions, being competitive and fighting for survival is the default.
Masculine energy needs appreciation. It needs to feel admired and praised. When a masculine energy is feeling criticized, controlled or feeling closed off, it shifts into wearing the feminine mask.
The secret is in balancing both within ourselves to unlock real freedom, joy and happiness.
Thank you so much Eva for your honesty in sharing your own story and shining the light to many of us on how vital it’s to keep our inner energies in balance to experience true happiness and self-realization in life. Now, I’d like you to imagine this: Everyone in the world can hear you saying one sentence where you share your life philosophy, what would it be?
Thank you so much, Lena! I would say that everything that happens in our life is a reflection of our inner stories and beliefs. Our life journey is to recognize where we B.S. ourselves so we can learn and grow. Our potential is genuinely and truly limitless if we allow it to be.
If you want to know more how to unlock your feminine power in order to breakthrough in your life, join my free webinar on November 12th (sign-up at http://www.awakenyourfemininesuperpowers.com). It’s totally free, I booked it as a way to say thank you for all the amazing feedback I received from people who bought my recently launched International best seller book Stop Believing the B.S.!