People join organizations and they leave because of managers.

The #1 reason people leave jobs is because they don’t feel valued and appreciated by their bosses.

And you know, it’s not about money.

As a leader of a team or somebody who aspires to manage people, you might wonder:

But hey, how can I show a genuine appreciation to another human being? How can I make him or her engaged and happy in a job long term? And how can I become a manager or a leader who others truly admire and want to work with?

There’s no one right answer here. And here’s why.

It all comes down to how an individual, a member of your team gives and receives appreciation. There are 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace elaborated in a bestselling book of the same title by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Language #1 Words of Affirmation:

A person thrives on hearing kind and encouraging words that build him or her up. The more specific the words and reasons for your appreciation, the better. Likewise, harsh and unthoughtful words stay long in the memory of that person and are to be avoided.

Language #2 Quality Time:

Nothing says more “I appreciate you” than full and undivided attention. Distractions, postponed meetings, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Language #3 Receiving Gifts:

This person appreciates the effort behind the gift. Show him or her that you know what they like or are interested in, this could mean a thoughtful training on developing this person’s talents or a book on a topic of interest for his or her birthday, etc.

Language #4 Acts of Service:

Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on a person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me help you with that.”

Language #5 Physical Touch:

Physical presence and accessibility are crucial for a person, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches (like pat on the back) communicate warmth and safety.

These 5 Languages of Appreciation frankly apply to any human relationship, including client – customer, friend-friend, parent-child etc. Every person has a preferred language.

So the sooner you get clear about your preferred language and those of others you work with or care about – the sooner your relationships will improve and you won’t have to worry for your colleagues, customers or friends leaving you because they don’t feel appreciated ever again.

With so much love and appreciation,


P.S. Got a friend or colleague who manages people like you do? – Share with them this Blog post, they’ll thank you for it!

Share this post